Ok, today I am just failing at the whole parenting thing.
Actually I’m making mistakes that aren’t even in the parenting agenda so I must be failing at life all together.
I woke up tired as f**k because Marco and I decided to stay up continuing our Harry Potter marathon (for the 1000000th time), too hard to resist! This led me to commit one of the parenting sins: sticking baby in front of screen = 3 minutes more shut-eye.
Enough was enough, time to peel my dead-ass-self up from the bed, switch Peppa pig off and race to the loo with Arwen bouncing on my hip before my bladder exploded. Parenting sin number 2: Allowing baby to brush the floor with someone else’s toothbrush = peaceful pissing and wiping.
Shrugging off the slow start to the morning, an hours play time went smoothly. Arwen and I mainly chucked stuff at each other and by that I mean; I’m teaching her to roll and catch a ball whilst she stood there throwing handmade wooden toys at my tender skin. So yeah, it’s all fun here. Boredom of the animal safari meant it was…
Breakfast time; I peeled a pear! A lovely firm cardboard-tasting one which, when I picked it, I thought was juicy. Arwen nibbled it quietly whilst I was hastily washing the loaded sink (burning my hands and fiercely scrubbing the food people had left the light before – YUCK) until she got impatient and started yelling. Parenting sin 3; giving baby pancakes out of a packet instead of freshly made for a minutes distraction. Guess where the pancake went whilst I started the scrambled egg? Yep, on the floor, greeeeaaaattt.
Well the egg decided to take it’s time cooking so Arwen obviously refused to wait – she is a baby after all, so concepts go out the window. Parenting sin 4; smartphone + YouTube + cartoons = muted and entertained baby. It’s not totally bad, she was watching Brazilian animations therefor learning Portuguese. See, educational.
Egg still not scrambling but the stove being on FIRE, my next door neighbour snuck by the window and tapped on the door to deliver a lovely piece of news; our dog was in her garden AGAIN. Damn dog, close all the gates and block all the holes that ever existed yet Nikki still finds a way to sneak out. That clever wolf.
I was in a panic! The stove and eggs were still hot and cooking, Arwen was getting bored of foreign tunes and growing hungrier (she threw the precious food on the floor remember). I had Jan waiting on my driveway for me to pop over a wrestle the beast and I just didn’t know what to do.
I phoned Marco in hysterics asking him to race home to grab Nikki from the neighbour, I removed the egg from the heat, whisked Arwen up and out to the next house along to explain to jan that Marco was on his way. I’m so thankful that she wasn’t bothered because I relaxed a bit then. We I got back inside the cats had shit on the living room floor because at some point this morning I temporarily left their litter somewhere else and they got confused.
Needless to say, after breakfast and the catching of Nikki, everything was better again. Arwen are her eggs happily in the lounge whilst watching a performance of her favourite toys – narrated by, produces by, voices by ME!
Everyone has those days where bad things just pile up and get to us, but it does get better! We just have to keep going.
If you’ve read all of this, you are a true gem (a nosey gem)
Lots of love and big hugs, Jessica xo